Making Peace With Your Brother

Jacob looked up and there was Esau, coming with his four hundred men; so he divided the children among Leah, Rachel and the two female servants… He (Jacob) himself went on ahead and bowed down to the ground seven times as he approached his brother (Esau).

But Esau ran to meet Jacob and embraced him; he threw his arms around his neck and kissed him. And they wept.
-Genesis 33:1-4

The sordid tale of Isaac and Rachel’s twins, Esau and Jacob, begins with conflict in the womb. Jacob was born holding on to the foot of his brother, Esau. When Isaac was old and mostly blind, Rachel helped Jacob (her favorite son) steal the blessing meant for Esau (Isaac’s favorite). Once given his father’s blessing, Jacob ran for his life to his uncle, Laban, because Esau was ready to kill Jacob over the trickery.

Fourteen years later, with two wives and 12 sons along, Jacob decides to return home. Unsure of how he will be received by his brother, Jacob puts together a grand gesture of gifts for Esau. Jacob assumed that the 400 men accompanying Esau were going to slaughter Jacob and all his family. Thankfully, he was wrong. Genesis 33:4 says, “But Esau ran to meet Jacob and embraced him; he threw his arms around his neck and kissed him. And they wept.”

Jacob didn’t deserve Esau’s forgiveness and embrace. Esau was willing to let the past be forgiven and restore a new relationship with Jacob. Not one that was filled with competition, but a relationship of compassion and understanding. Past pain and betrayal is difficult to forgive. Restored relationships are possible, with time and hard emotional work. Giving the other person the benefit of the doubt, seeing the change and growth they have achieved gives us the opportunity for a softer heart. Jacob knew he had betrayed his brother and wanted to make it right by giving him the gift of humility. That was the purpose of Jacob bowing to the ground seven times. Esau accepted his humble gift and embraced his brother once more.

Do you identify more with Jacob or Esau in this story? Is there someone you are needing to forgive? God can do a work of healing and restoration in your heart. God’s blessing for us is peace, shalom, health and wholeness.

Lord, You call us to come and see, and then to go and tell. So often we are looking the other way—away from your image shining in the face of another, away from your people in need, away from the things we would rather not see. So often our words are not of grace, justice, love, and peace, but rather words of hurt, exclusion, and fear. Forgive us for praying for vision while holding our eyes closed. Forgive us for holding firmly to the logs in our own eyes even as you offer us lenses to see what you see. Forgive us for keeping silent, and for speaking our own desires rather than yours. Give us courage to witness your glory and testify to your good news. Give us grace to admit our shortcomings and still point to you. Give us strength to follow you, wherever you might lead. You call us to come and see, then go and tell. Help us to follow in faith. Amen.